At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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