Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
