I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My feet surprised me
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
