The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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