I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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