Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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