im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
