I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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