Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
