That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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