is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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