1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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