Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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