I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize