4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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