did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
