I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
