would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
