spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
