I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
