he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
