i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
