I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
