hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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