U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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