You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
