Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
