cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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