Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
what day is it and did you see me today?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
