I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
