Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize