Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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