The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
