we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
