Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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