I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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