Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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