it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
