the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
