somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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