I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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