Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
