she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Farmville is her only friend.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
