Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
