i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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