Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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