you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
