I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
