Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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