Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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