Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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