It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
