I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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