so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
