Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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