I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Randomize
