At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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