Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
