You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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