He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
nutella sex= disaster
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize