Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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