I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
