Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Randomize
