what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
