So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize